Jenna Likes Herself

A one-act slice of life play about Jenna, who learns to like herself. I came up with the idea, outlined the script, wrote it, and edited it in under 8 hours on September 7, 2017. Nice little test of speed to see if I could create something good in that timeframe, and if my writing approach helps me create something worthwhile as quickly as I think it can. Yay, it worked pretty well!

Excerpt

WILEY: So, Jenna, go out on any dates with yourself since last week?

JENNA: Nope.

BLYTHE: That was so much fun!

WILEY: I was thinking, we should go out on a double-date! Not because I’m interested in any of you, but because it would be a great way to get to know each other.

SHANTI: Who’ll be the fifth wheel?

WILEY: I’ll just date two of you!

JENNA spits her drink.

JENNA: (laughing) Wiley! I’d totally play along with that, but what if somebody you like walks through the restaurant doors?

WILEY: I’m not gonna worry about that.

BLYTHE: If somebody does, I’m gonna go all out on you, Wiley!

WILEY: What?-

ETHAN: Wiley, you know with Blythe that would be a problem.

BLYTHE: I’ll make sure you never get a date from anybody else ever again! (voice goes fierce) Because you’re mine!

ALL laugh except WILEY, who’s uncomfortable.

ETHAN: Wow, are you embarrassing Wiley? That takes a lot of work!

JENNA: We now know his weakness-

JENNA and BLYTHE: Blythe! (both make faces at WILEY)

WILEY turns away.

JENNA: Um… Wiley?

SHANTI: Wiley, are you okay?

WILEY: (starts to grin) …I’m gonna get you back for that. Just you wait.

ETHAN and JENNA: Ohhhhhhhhhhh!

BLYTHE: Let’s do it!

OTHERS: Huh?

BLYTHE: That’d be so hilarious! Let’s go to a public restaurant and Jenna, Shanti, and me will be his dates!

ETHAN: So I’m the fifth wheel now?

SHANTI: I’m down.

WILEY: It was a joke guys. No no no no no.

JENNA: Yeah, I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.

BLYTHE: But it’d be so funny!

SHANTI: How about we just do the thing here?

ETHAN: I can record it! (gets out his phone and runs US from the table) And… action!

WILEY: Wait!

BLYTHE gets on top of the table, laying on it and hugging WILEY around his neck.

BLYTHE: Oh, Wiley! I’m so in love with you! More than Jenna and Shanti.

JENNA bursts out laughing.

SHANTI: Wiley, my undying devotion for you is a flame that dwarfs Blythe’s insincere poetics.

JENNA just keeps laughing, and falls on the ground.

WILEY: Get off me, Blythe.

SHANTI: I can’t believe it. You like it.

WILEY: What?! Ethan, turn off that camera!

SHANTI: I thought you were better than this.

BLYTHE rolls off the table onto the floor. She gets up.

SHANTI: Wiley. I have something sincere to tell you. And I’m glad that the camera is rolling so I can finally say it. (ALL believe she’s more serious as she goes on) Despite how… jerkish you can be, and how rude, you are an extremely attractive and kind-hearted person. I really want to get to know you better. Like, better better. I… I can’t even think of the right words right now, because I’m so filled with love. Take me away, Wiley! Take me away!

Awkward silence. SHANTI takes a lie candy and openly drops it into her mouth. ALL (but WILEY) burst out into applause and laughter.

BLYTHE: Ooh! Let me try! (clears throat) Oh Wiley, the man of my dreams, the hope of my future, the one who can fill the gaping hole inside of my lonely heart, I pray thee would be a light that fills my soul. Every breath of yours is like music to my ears-

JENNA: Okay, you lost me there.

BLYTHE: -and I want our lives to be intertwined, like needle and thread, lead me forward into a future where we will never be separated, but can only look back and see where we have come from! So far… my love…

ETHAN, JENNA, and SHANTI applaud.

JENNA: (pause. Goes up to WILEY and shakes him) I want you to give me babies!

ALL bust out laughing.

BLYTHE: Oh, she- she didn’t take a lie candy!

ALL keep laughing. JENNA grabs a lie candy and openly drops it into her mouth.

WILEY: Do I get a turn?

Silence.

WILEY: (clears throat) You all suck.

ALL laugh, WILEY openly takes a lie candy, pretends he is about to drop it into his mouth then tosses it behind him.

ETHAN: The best part? (lowers his phone) Is that that was saved for posterity.