The Christmas Goose

A skit written for a young theatre class about a some orphan children who steal a goose for dinner- and too late realize that it was the goose that laid the golden egg.

Excerpt

LC: Lights Up.

Joel and Constance are CS, sitting on the Goose cage without the blanket. Isabel comes out SL, a little groggy with the blanket from the goose’s cage wrapped around herself.

Isabel: Hullo, Joel and Constance, you look awfully chipper.

Joel: You bet, Izzy.

Constance: We’re looking forward to Christmas dinner!

Isabel: Dinner? I didn’t sleep in that long, did I?

Constance: Oh, no. But it’ll take a while to prepare.

Isabel: (shocked) You didn’t! You little…

Joel: Don’t talk such way, Isabel! It’s Christmas!

Abigale enters SL

Isabel: It’s the season of giving, not of taking! (feeling the blanket around her shoulders) Where did you get this blanket?

Constance: From the cage that the goose was in.

Joel gets off the cage, begins to examine it

Abigale: What! You stole the…

Joel: If we clean it out, maybe we could use it to store some of our food. Aren’t I a city man, Abigale? (opens the cage)

Abigale: Despicable, yes.

Joel: I was thinking economical. (takes a golden egg out of the cage) Oh, look, an egg. Constance, do you recall what the brown ones are?

Constance: Double yoke.

Joel: Ah, enough for an omellete!

Constance: (takes the egg from Joel) Joel… this isn’t an ordinary egg.

Joel: Yes, because it came from a goose, not a chicken, Constance.

Isabel: It glitters!

Constance: It does! (bites it, pondering) Joel… I know it’s crazy maybe, but I do believe this egg is made of…

Joel: (takes it and looks at it himself, bites it, shocked) No… (calls) Charity! Lucas! Fortune! Bring the goose in here right away!

Charity, Fortune, and Lucas bring in the goose, now cooked and on a platter, singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”

Joel: The goose laid golden eggs!

Charity, Fortune, and Lucas stop singing. Shocked.

Fortune: (happy, runs up) Let me see it!

Joel: No! Do you realize what this means?!

Lucas: Must have been a sick goose.

Joel: No!

Charity: We can buy ten more geese!

Joel: Yes, but no. Think about it!

Charity, Fortune, and Lucas stop. Their countenances fall.

Charity: Oh.

Lucas: Oh.

Fortune: Oh.

Charity: Ought we…

Abigale: Apologize?

Isabel: You bet.