Jenna Likes Herself
A one-act slice of life play about Jenna, who learns to like herself. I came up with the idea, outlined the script, wrote it, and edited it in under 8 hours on September 7, 2017. Nice little test of speed to see if I could create something good in that timeframe, and if my writing approach helps me create something worthwhile as quickly as I think it can. Yay, it worked pretty well!
WILEY: So, Jenna, go out on any dates with yourself since last week?
BLYTHE: That was so much fun!
WILEY: I was thinking, we should go out on a double-date! Not because I’m interested in any of you, but because it would be a great way to get to know each other.
SHANTI: Who’ll be the fifth wheel?
WILEY: I’ll just date two of you!
JENNA spits her drink.
JENNA: (laughing) Wiley! I’d totally play along with that, but what if somebody you like walks through the restaurant doors?
WILEY: I’m not gonna worry about that.
BLYTHE: If somebody does, I’m gonna go all out on you, Wiley!
ETHAN: Wiley, you know with Blythe that would be a problem.
BLYTHE: I’ll make sure you never get a date from anybody else ever again! (voice goes fierce) Because you’re mine!
ALL laugh except WILEY, who’s uncomfortable.
ETHAN: Wow, are you embarrassing Wiley? That takes a lot of work!
JENNA: We now know his weakness-
JENNA and BLYTHE: Blythe! (both make faces at WILEY)
WILEY turns away.
JENNA: Um… Wiley?
SHANTI: Wiley, are you okay?
WILEY: (starts to grin) …I’m gonna get you back for that. Just you wait.
ETHAN and JENNA: Ohhhhhhhhhhh!
BLYTHE: Let’s do it!
BLYTHE: That’d be so hilarious! Let’s go to a public restaurant and Jenna, Shanti, and me will be his dates!
ETHAN: So I’m the fifth wheel now?
SHANTI: I’m down.
WILEY: It was a joke guys. No no no no no.
JENNA: Yeah, I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.
BLYTHE: But it’d be so funny!
SHANTI: How about we just do the thing here?
ETHAN: I can record it! (gets out his phone and runs US from the table) And… action!
BLYTHE gets on top of the table, laying on it and hugging WILEY around his neck.
BLYTHE: Oh, Wiley! I’m so in love with you! More than Jenna and Shanti.
JENNA bursts out laughing.
SHANTI: Wiley, my undying devotion for you is a flame that dwarfs Blythe’s insincere poetics.
JENNA just keeps laughing, and falls on the ground.
WILEY: Get off me, Blythe.
SHANTI: I can’t believe it. You like it.
WILEY: What?! Ethan, turn off that camera!
SHANTI: I thought you were better than this.
BLYTHE rolls off the table onto the floor. She gets up.
SHANTI: Wiley. I have something sincere to tell you. And I’m glad that the camera is rolling so I can finally say it. (ALL believe she’s more serious as she goes on) Despite how… jerkish you can be, and how rude, you are an extremely attractive and kind-hearted person. I really want to get to know you better. Like, better better. I… I can’t even think of the right words right now, because I’m so filled with love. Take me away, Wiley! Take me away!
Awkward silence. SHANTI takes a lie candy and openly drops it into her mouth. ALL (but WILEY) burst out into applause and laughter.
BLYTHE: Ooh! Let me try! (clears throat) Oh Wiley, the man of my dreams, the hope of my future, the one who can fill the gaping hole inside of my lonely heart, I pray thee would be a light that fills my soul. Every breath of yours is like music to my ears-
JENNA: Okay, you lost me there.
BLYTHE: -and I want our lives to be intertwined, like needle and thread, lead me forward into a future where we will never be separated, but can only look back and see where we have come from! So far… my love…
ETHAN, JENNA, and SHANTI applaud.
JENNA: (pause. Goes up to WILEY and shakes him) I want you to give me babies!
ALL bust out laughing.
BLYTHE: Oh, she- she didn’t take a lie candy!
ALL keep laughing. JENNA grabs a lie candy and openly drops it into her mouth.
WILEY: Do I get a turn?
WILEY: (clears throat) You all suck.
ALL laugh, WILEY openly takes a lie candy, pretends he is about to drop it into his mouth then tosses it behind him.
ETHAN: The best part? (lowers his phone) Is that that was saved for posterity.